BABIES FIRST YEAR

Separation Anxiety and a Sense of Self in Babies

From birth until approximately almost one year of age, your baby will not distinguish between himself and you. When he does start to understand that he is a separate person from you, he will realize that you can actually leave him and he can be alone. It is during this time that separation anxiety begins. Separation anxiety is a phase that most babies go through and can last until he is a bit into his second year.

There is a British study which showed that babies under one year old really don’t distinguish themselves as individuals. When they sat in front of a mirror, the babies tried to touch the “baby in the mirror.” Even after they put some red blush makeup on the baby’s nose each baby tried to touch the reflected nose. At thirteen to twenty-four months they have a more developed sense of self as shown by the British study. The older babies touched their own noses when the red stuff was on it and they saw it in the mirror.

Baby will be developing his sense of individuality and identity for many years to come. As he gains confidence and starts developing his social self and learns as well as feels like you will return when you leave him at the daycare center or with a baby sitter, he’ll move ahead with creating his own identity. This typically happens during the toddler stage, and with his developing sense of self comes wanting it his way. This is the root of temper tantrums.

At twenty-five to thirty-six months of age, a baby starts to explore the world by venturing farther and farther away from you. He will sometimes laugh about it when you chase him to rein him in. This is a time when a baby harness is handy to keep the child safe when outside. He is going to test his perimeters too by doing things you tell him not to do.

For your baby to develop his sense of self with confidence, he needs your help through giving him love, attention, and playing with him. It is important that he learns to trust you. To teach him or her to trust you, meet his needs consistently by feeding him and keeping him comfortable by changing his diaper when needed. Also, playing, smiling, and giving him attention when he is awake and attentive will help him gain trust in you. He needs this kind of attention to plunge ahead into exploring the world with confidence.

You can help foster his blossoming sense of independence and self by allowing him to choose between two food items or choosing one of two toys. Let him select which of two books you are going to read to him. Encourage his need for independence, but welcome him when he comes back to you for reassurance. If your child suffers from severe separation anxiety at eighteen months, talk to his doctor. As she grows older your child will learn to do other things on her own like riding a bicycle, tying her shoelaces and making her own snack.

About the Author

Maria Cummings is a devoted parent, wife and expert author on family matters and parenting. She is devoted to helping parents and to childrens organizations and activities. Maria is also the Sales Manager for
Bustling Baby
, LLC – a company focused on making parenting easier and offers many products to make life with baby easier, such as
baby travel systems

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